bangsandwhimpers

bangsandwhimpers

Welcome to you , dearest reader

You have stumbled upon an almanac encompassing incredible, hilarious and dreadful dalliances spanning ten years and counting

Some are bangs, some are just whimpers: it’s all here in probably way too much detail

Pull up your chaise longue, extend your legs, take off your pants and mix a drink of your choice

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bangs and whimpers

  • The Facilities Manager ad infinitum

    It has been months. So when I bump into him at the station I don’t quite recognise him, I actually think “hmm he’s handsome” before he waves at me and shocks me out of my daze. There is a lot… more ›

  • The Consultant again

    There is nothing like dashing through the city’s commuter crowd with no knickers on. Ok, it’s November so I’m wearing tights but the crotch is soaked. I rushing to meet him at his hotel, dressed in the filthiest get up… more ›

  • Post-Date: The Hairdresser

    3 days later and I’ve had time to think about the encounter. Nothing terrible happened, but there wasn’t much passion to it. So how did we have a simultaneous orgasm? Was it his smooth, tanned and hairless body? Was it… more ›

  • Pre-date: The Hairdresser

    It is exactly 36 days since I last had sex. As a sex blogger by night, normal civilian by day – this makes things hard. My black book has lost pages I kept reading and turning the corner over on… more ›

  • The Consultant

    I meet him in the lobby of a hotel opposite his, it is terrible so we leave quickly and head somewhere else. Bright lights and single businessmen are not what we need. There are corners to be seduced in elsewhere.… more ›

  • Tantra

    The lights are dimmed. There is some incense burning, and the room is warm. I am encouraged to take my clothes off. The laptop shines on the floor, emitting a sound that is eastern, a slow drum beat with an… more ›

  • Reviens

    Not with a bang but with a whimper, the return to writing. The lull was not self-imposed, the reasons dull. Actually, no. One reason was that the process of writing about fucks had become hackneyed. In documenting the coitus I… more ›

  • The Van Man

    We’ve been chatting for a good 7 months, trying to find a good time to meet. Okay, okay: we were meant to be having a threesome. With holidays, other commitments it got difficult. So we end up meeting just one… more ›

  • One and two makes

    I’m hosting a threesome for the first time: it feels weird. Especially when you’ve only had 24 hours notice and one of the guys you’ve known for ages and it’s his idea. The other guy is his mate. And all… more ›

  • Curfew 

    I meet him in my new private members club: he gets there first and I trip in around 10 minutes late. I’m delighted to see he is as advertised and I immediately fancy him. We are sitting next to each… more ›