bangsandwhimpers

I met him once, five years ago. We had one date, after I went to see him do stand up and found out his show wasn’t the truth. Yes, I’m gullible. We meet this time and instantly I’m quite shocked… more ›

Saturday afternoon on a week where I already have two notches on my bedpost. Yes, I’m greedy. Insatiable. But sometimes when it comes together like this, I can’t turn it down. Like buses. We stalk around each other like animals,… more ›

I’ve just come off my period and am ripe for some intimacy. My preferred partner is not available (let’s skim over the fact he hasn’t been for some months now) so I go with the next nearest, one who actually… more ›

His place is fashionably messy but stylish and feels comforting, unlike most lairs it doesn’t smell terrible. I meet his cat straight away and inwardly laugh at the last boy’s cat I met in the middle of the night that… more ›

We’ve already met once this week and tonight was the planned version. A private view of an artist I don’t know but a gallery I do. I know he loves art because I’ve stalked his Instagram. I arrive first and… more ›

The first is a regular: a former FWB recently rediscovered. It’s like going back to an old teddy bear and in the movie of my life he will be played by Robbie Coltrane as Hagrid. Except a little more trimmed. And… more ›

I’m at a workshop offsite, the usual excruciatingly bad team-building stuff except I’m the only one from my company. The team I’m in aren’t so bad but his messages come through and are a welcome distraction. I haven’t seen him… more ›

He is delivering me a cake for a colleague’s birthday. A ridiculous chocolate one with all the trimmings I ordered a week ago. I hadn’t expected him to stay and play but he notices I’m stressed and gives me a… more ›

He has just been crowned my longest and most loyal FWB. It’s never straightforward; he’s definitely not at my beck and call. And he lives the other side of the city, so build in travel time and I’m the most hassle… more ›

I meet him in a bar in a part of town I know only a little. He is late; I wonder if he’s coming at all. He arrives dressed in black with a turtleneck, I joke he looks like the… more ›