bangsandwhimpers

bangsandwhimpers

Welcome to you , dearest reader

You have stumbled upon an almanac encompassing incredible, hilarious and dreadful dalliances spanning ten years and counting

Some are bangs, some are just whimpers: it’s all here in probably way too much detail

Pull up your chaise longue, extend your legs, take off your pants and mix a drink of your choice

cumming next on

bangs and whimpers

  • Reviens

    Not with a bang but with a whimper, the return to writing. The lull was not self-imposed, the reasons dull. Actually, no. One reason was that the process of writing about fucks had become hackneyed. In documenting the coitus I… more ›

  • The Van Man

    We’ve been chatting for a good 7 months, trying to find a good time to meet. Okay, okay: we were meant to be having a threesome. With holidays, other commitments it got difficult. So we end up meeting just one… more ›

  • One and two makes

    I’m hosting a threesome for the first time: it feels weird. Especially when you’ve only had 24 hours notice and one of the guys you’ve known for ages and it’s his idea. The other guy is his mate. And all… more ›

  • Curfew 

    I meet him in my new private members club: he gets there first and I trip in around 10 minutes late. I’m delighted to see he is as advertised and I immediately fancy him. We are sitting next to each… more ›

  • 1pm & 6pm 30/6/17

    I’m sitting here like the cat that’s got the cream. In the past 24 hours I’ve had sex with the two most fabulous guys within hours of each other. And I can only tell you, dear reader. When I woke… more ›

  • Let her eat cake

    It’s the only way I get to see him these days: order a cake. One day I’ll order one just for me. I won’t share it at all, it won’t be for someone else’s birthday. Maybe I’ll indulge one of… more ›

  • Gonna make you sweat

    I’m reminding myself this is only the third time we’ve met. Him: dishevelled, hungover and chain smoking. Me: dressed like a slut and have got off the station at the wrong place. We’re both on good form as usual, so my… more ›

  • Roof

    I’ve bunked off work between meetings : my boss is away and the weather is too good to be stuck in the office. It’s April but feels like July. Your flat isn’t too far from the station so it’s easy… more ›

  • Wednesday 10.30pm

    I am on a date, but I don’t want to be. I want to be with HIM. The date is perfunctory: I feel guilty because I blew this guy out last week for the one I want to be with.… more ›

  • 3

    How many threesomes start with a roast dinner? Roast beef and Yorkshire pudding with gravy and all the trimmings in the pub? I’ll wager none, but here we are and that’s what she’s eating. But she’s hungover and blonde and has… more ›