bangsandwhimpers

bangsandwhimpers

Welcome to you , dearest reader

You have stumbled upon an almanac encompassing incredible, hilarious and dreadful dalliances spanning ten years and counting

Some are bangs, some are just whimpers: it’s all here in probably way too much detail

Pull up your chaise longue, extend your legs, take off your pants and mix a drink of your choice

cumming next on

bangs and whimpers

  • to the foundations

    We weren’t supposed to be fucking. but he invited me to a party out in the zones and I was going to be half way there anyway. Fuck it, I thought, I need to dance and I can take my… more ›

  • The Donkey

    He worked in the same building. Not for the same company but enough for it to be necessary to have some interaction with. I didn’t even realise he liked me until my boss said “He REALLY fancies you, you should… more ›

  • turned down

    I was standing outside the bank, on the phone, when he walked past. He said hello and I smiled and conveyed hello with my eyes as best I could without it looking like I had eye strain. He went into… more ›

  • Afternoon delight

    The text came while I was at the gym. I had gone for a workout because I was horny as hell and unlikely to get any relief in the way I wanted it. Or so I thought. I had met… more ›

  • The Drought

    I hadn’t had sex for over 18 months, the driest spell for me in living memory. I had even stopped wanking. It was like I had become asexual. To rectify this, I joined a dating website and added “casual sex”… more ›

  • On the couch

    I met him at a concert a few nights earlier, we were hot for each other but he’d disappeared early – he’d drunk too much and didn’t want to embarass himself. I was a bit glad. I was nervous after… more ›

  • American Boy Part 1

    He was young. Too young. Only in London for an exchange semester during the summer and hot to trot. We met the first time in a pub near Smithfields Market. He was late and got me to buy him a… more ›

  • the security guard

    As I weaved my way through the people, I had clocked him. Mostly his eyes, which had bored their way through me, full of lust. But he was the security guard, so I didn’t pursue it. I felt awesome –… more ›

  • Less than 20 minutes

    This guy was a type. The type that sends you #dickpics. The type that asks how naughty you are. The type that you meet on an Internet dating site. The type that you probably shouldn’t fuck at all.
Unbelievably it was… more ›

  • Cup of tea, love?

    I went out looking to get laid, out of revenge. I wanted some hot wuk. So I went to the club and danced with a few dudes, it was pretty ace. He was just sitting, chilling – not bad looking,… more ›