bangsandwhimpers

bangsandwhimpers

Welcome to you , dearest reader

You have stumbled upon an almanac encompassing incredible, hilarious and dreadful dalliances spanning ten years and counting

Some are bangs, some are just whimpers: it’s all here in probably way too much detail

Pull up your chaise longue, extend your legs, take off your pants and mix a drink of your choice

cumming next on

bangs and whimpers

  • Senses

    A week ago a postvan pulled up to park outside the house. The guy inside took out a bacon sandwich and bit into it. Something about the way he opened his mouth and put it in was an instant turn… more ›

  • Knickers

    I haven’t spoken to him in a while. I’d noticed a few posts on Twitter and eventually, we get around to DMing again and then WhatsApp. He’s caged at the moment with a new pink plastic sissy case for his… more ›

  • The guy in advertising again

    He had a small dick but he made me cum so many times with his mouth and hands I just had to…check. Again. Plus I don’t have any other offers. He’s coming over on Friday afternoon and the timing is… more ›

  • The IT Guy for a Swiss Bank (yeah yeah) a.k.a. #Love in the time of Corona

    I just came out of a six-day relationship. Yeah you heard right. After being hung up on one guy for almost two years, we fell for this guy SO hard. Tinder has a lot to answer for. But this guy,… more ›

  • Kiss

    It’s four weeks later and I am still thinking about it. I should not be thinking about it at all. I should just be thinking about the marvellous sex. But I am not. It happened at the station. I’ve never… more ›

  • The Accountant

    He’s been pursuing me for about six months. One of the last from the swingers site I gave my number to. And dear reader, I have been putting him off. I’ve given him every excuse under the sun: a new… more ›

  • The Electrician – again

    It’s been a while but he’s been messaging me fairly regularly for a meet. Less than 24 hours since I met you-know-who but given I didn’t get much action, I’m game. I guess I can’t be in love then. He’s… more ›

  • Playing House

    I’ve finally pinned him down to see me. He’s in a very complicated situation involving  a nuisance neighbour and I don’t realise the enormity of the situation until I’m there and see the riot vans and the armed police. As… more ›

  • The Teacher

    He’s French, which is a surprise. I can’t quite place the accent at first but as he explains he’s from a small town near Bordeaux it unfurls from aural hieroglyphics into a recognisable Gallic twang. One of our favourite all… more ›

  • Sunday

    I haven’t seen him in around six weeks which for me may as well be six years. It’s a date of sorts because I am nervous and have been agonising over it all day. I’m even worrying what to wear… more ›