bangsandwhimpers

bangsandwhimpers

Welcome to you , dearest reader

You have stumbled upon an almanac encompassing incredible, hilarious and dreadful dalliances spanning ten years and counting

Some are bangs, some are just whimpers: it’s all here in probably way too much detail

Pull up your chaise longue, extend your legs, take off your pants and mix a drink of your choice

cumming next on

bangs and whimpers

  • Overnight : Stage one

    We’ve already met once this week and tonight was the planned version. A private view of an artist I don’t know but a gallery I do. I know he loves art because I’ve stalked his Instagram. I arrive first and… more ›

  • Two guys, one day

    The first is a regular: a former FWB recently rediscovered. It’s like going back to an old teddy bear and in the movie of my life he will be played by Robbie Coltrane as Hagrid. Except a little more trimmed. And… more ›

  • Business lunch 

    I’m at a workshop offsite, the usual excruciatingly bad team-building stuff except I’m the only one from my company. The team I’m in aren’t so bad but his messages come through and are a welcome distraction. I haven’t seen him… more ›

  • Ganache Panache

    He is delivering me a cake for a colleague’s birthday. A ridiculous chocolate one with all the trimmings I ordered a week ago. I hadn’t expected him to stay and play but he notices I’m stressed and gives me a… more ›

  • Anniversaire

    He has just been crowned my longest and most loyal FWB. It’s never straightforward; he’s definitely not at my beck and call. And he lives the other side of the city, so build in travel time and I’m the most hassle… more ›

  • Some dom

    I meet him in a bar in a part of town I know only a little. He is late; I wonder if he’s coming at all. He arrives dressed in black with a turtleneck, I joke he looks like the… more ›

  • Red red wine

    I am on a date. My first in over a year. It is going well. We have covered travelling, work, comedy, TV, music, pets and a bit of homeowner stuff. I fancy him. He is better in the flesh and… more ›

  • A game of two halves with no home goals

      We have 2o minutes because he is late. I’m meeting family in town but the chance of fucking him beforehand and arriving breathless and rosy-cheeked is amusing me. I know, bad girl. It’s not ideal but I am breathless… more ›

  • Fingered

    He is my favourite fuckboy, but don’t tell him that. He has just the right mix of cheeky and kinky. Oh, and he lives 10 minutes away. Sometimes the thought of fucking is more exciting than actually doing it. There… more ›

  • Pre-NYE

    I hadn’t planned for him to be my last fuck of the year. In fact I’d lined up three others, knowing one or all would probably pull out. That day, co-incedentally I had past conquests and former lucky contestants all… more ›