I meet him in a bar in a part of town I know only a little. He is late; I wonder if he’s coming at all. He arrives dressed in black with a turtleneck, I joke he looks like the Milk Tray man. He has a lot to talk about, a ridiculous employment history spanning the forces, fashion and engineering. I feel awkward in comparison. After a while, I excuse myself to go to the loo and he grabs the inside of my leg – the fleshy part – very hard. I squeak in shock.

As I pee, I wonder if he has turned me on or not. I decide not, but I’m still intrigued. Back in my seat he talks about his stint as a barman at a sex club and his kink induction. His accent is an odd one and I ask him about it – the result of mixed parentage and growing up in several countries. I already know he’s a Dom but he starts to describe a few things and ask a few questions. One of which is whether my house has carpets as he wants to piss on my floor and see me lick it up. I’ve already discussed my limits but he’s pushing me. And then he asks me to accompany him into the park.

I’m going to point out its winter, dark and wet. I’m so aware that you, dear reader,  want to hear tales of sex and hilarity but I am not even slightly tempted. As a woman you go with your gut, it becomes instinct eventually. And my instinct is saying no.

We drink up, put our coats on and leave the pub. He’s also going to the tube station and we are travelling from the same platform. We do an awkward shuffle and he starts stroking my hair. I close my eyes, thinking he’s going to kiss me. How foolish. He pulls my hair, not down but backwards somehow and my eyes feel like they are bulging out of my head. Tears roll down my cheeks from the shock. All of this probably takes 20 seconds, but feels a lot longer. I reel, stagger to regain my composure and wrap my coat closer.

He mumbles something about not realising I’d react like that. I’ve already missed a few trains, I jump on the next one, confused and a little revulsed. My main fear is how many people saw that, oddly.

We make plans to see each other in a few days. But thankfully, I never hear from him again.