bangsandwhimpers

bangsandwhimpers

Welcome to you , dearest reader

You have stumbled upon an almanac encompassing incredible, hilarious and dreadful dalliances spanning ten years and counting

Some are bangs, some are just whimpers: it’s all here in probably way too much detail

Pull up your chaise longue, extend your legs, take off your pants and mix a drink of your choice

cumming next on

bangs and whimpers

  • The guy from work

    He made me laugh a lot. He wasn’t hot or sexy or good looking. He just had that glint in his eye and such a good sense of humour that every moment I spent in his company was, well, hilarious.… more ›

  • Fire

    I live next door to a fire station. Weirdly you get used to the sirens, like most noises in the city they just blend into the cacophony until you don’t hear them at all. At the side of the station… more ›

  • The Blindfold

    I knocked on the door three times. Room 3064. Quickly checked my face in a compact. I was nervous. The door opened and immediately his hands covered my eyes and closed the door behind me. I tottered forwards. “You’re fucking… more ›

  • The Turk

    It was the last foreign holiday I was to go on with my family. I was already away at university and had flown the coop, but a free holiday is a free holiday. We were staying near a party town,… more ›

  • The Usher

    It was my brothers wedding. And I had just got divorced. Hadn’t even thought about sex for about 6 months. I knew the guest list, of course. Had already picked my victim. He was one of the ushers. When I… more ›

  • Alternative Medicine

    I was as hungover as it gets. A few months sobriety cancelled by too many martinis to count. I woke far too early that Saturday with a dreadful headache and a fuzzy, dull feeling I hadn’t had in a while.… more ›

  • The student

    He was a former pupil of my flatmate. I think he actually wanted to fuck her rather than me. She had actually arranged our “date”. She’d made it her mission to get me laid after I’d split up with my… more ›

  • Do You Remember The First Time?

    Well I do. But I didn’t class it as the first time as it didn’t really count. Okay, okay, you be the judge. I had fancied him for ages. We were both in final year at school. I’d done some… more ›

  • The older man

    I was still at school in sixth form when my Dad decided getting me a job as a cleaner at his offices was a good idea. The work was easy. Twice a week I turned up and went around the… more ›

  • Repeat visit

    The text came on a Friday night while I was out with friends. Asking if I was free the next day As soon as I saw his name pop up on my screen I was excited. We arranged a time… more ›