Well I do. But I didn’t class it as the first time as it didn’t really count. Okay, okay, you be the judge.
I had fancied him for ages. We were both in final year at school. I’d done some ridiculous things to try and get his attention. But he had pretty much ignored me.

For some reason he called and asked me to come over one night. It was my Mum’s birthday and we were out for a family meal at a pub round the corner from his house. I can still remember exactly what I ate: scampi, chips and peas. The meal was probably awkward and I definitely rushed my food. Then my Dad dropped me off at his and we were alone together.
His family were out, we had the house to ourselves. He offered me alcohol, I asked for gin. I’d never drunk it before but thought it was cool. He’d obviously never drunk it either as he gave it to me neat just with ice.
We had hardly spoken to each other and I was now completely smitten.
You can see what’s coming can’t you? The night is a distant memory but some parts are very clear. I remember him putting on music and me dancing naked in his front room.
He took me up to his bedroom and started showing me porn mags. I had never seen anything like it. He commented that my pubic hair was “rough as horsehair” – what a charmer! I don’t even think he attempted to kiss me or touch my body. He had a huge stiffy, and loads of pubic hair himself. I couldn’t believe that the same quiet guy I had fancied for ages had dirty mags and was trying to get me turned on by looking at them.
I was about as far from my normal self as I could be. Naked in a guys bed learning the horrible truth. He tried to get it in but I was too scared, too drunk and too bewildered to understand that what he was doing wasn’t going to work.
My Dad came to pick me up and I ended up trying to get into the wrong car. Threw up going up the stairs and by my bed.
I didn’t see him again. In the morning I noticed my pink cotton knickers were spotted with blood. He had taken my virginity, sort of.