Before you panic and think we’ve gone all serious, don’t worry. This is a SEXY year in review.

We’re been writing the blog now for five years. Some have been easier than others. Last year was particularly difficult to keep committed to writing due to a number of unconnected outside factors. We knuckled down as ever and spun tales of gold out of some dubious experiences. But we felt bad for you dear readers, we let you down.

We’re delighted to note that our Statscounter shows you’re still sticking with us, and after a dry summer of no sex our views and posts recovered to almost equal 2017.

But this isn’t why we’re writing; the blog has never been about likes, follows and viewing stats (although starting an Instagram page certainly enhanced things)

It’s always been about the sex. But it’s also intertwined with the number of people we’re having sex with.

We wanted to share some figures with you from the last few years. The number after the year is how many partners we had that year. Not number of f*&ks, but number of sexual partners.

2010-11 : 1

2012 : 2

2013: 10

2014: 9

2015: 16

2016: 9

2017: 19

2018: 10

You can see quite clearly that the blog starting in 2014 was a catalyst for more sex with more people. 2015 and 2017 perhaps the vintage years. 2017 was actually the most experimental too with four threesomes and many boundaries broken.

One thing we are really concerned about is the quality of the sex and the availability of men.

Let us explain.

In 90% of our experiences over the last year, the partner was either unable to stay erect, use a condom or even get hard. Outside of the bedroom even getting to that stage seemed harder with more and more men prolonging the arrangement to meet for weeks or even months.

Another worrying trend was the emergence of “kink” in the mainstream. For most of last year we experimented with dating apps – not for sex, for dates. With barely any success. Even on the most vanilla of apps – OK Cupid – we noticed “kinky” kept appearing more and more, so much so it actually became a turn off. On another seemingly vanilla app Hinge – we encountered an incredibly false dom seeking a sub. On POF we seemed to attract a guy hell bent on asking daily for pics of our asshole*

We also encountered some really dreadful specimens of male. Ones who asked us to lend them money (not for sex) before even meeting, ones who stood us up, ones who ghosted us even after arranging to meet. Most recently one who managed to insult us in the initial few texts.

Readers, are we alone? We’d love to hear your experiences too.

*no, of course we didn’t oblige.