He is kneeling on the corner of my bed, cock in my face, happily playing with my pussy. He isn’t yet fully hard, and his cock lolls around above his balls. This time I notice its shades of purple, the fact the hair on his balls is shaven, but growing back and darker than that on his head. How small and neat the whole package is. His length is eye level, and I grab his buttocks and take him deep inside my mouth, enjoying his fingers inside me at the same time. With one hand he kneads my breast and I flush with pleasure. We’ve never done this before, his hands holding up my hair, a subtle control and steer from him, yet I have all the power. He never likes me to suck him for long, so when he pulls out and kisses me I lie back on the bed.

Wordlessly he travels up my body, kissing stomach, inner thighs, breasts, lips. There is no rush this time. His cock nudges my pussy, teasing me and I close my eyes. I remember that time in the toilet of the hotel. He begins to lick and nuzzle at my cunt, the feeling of his lips too good not to grab the back of his head and hold him closer. His fingers push inside and he picks up speed, varying his hand and tongue movements. All I can do is moan and wiggle, my legs flailing. His head is completely between my thighs, his lips almost forming a clamp over my pussy, sometimes veering deliciously close to my asshole. I can feel his stubble as he licks and kisses it, I’m trying to thrust against his rhythm. I hardly ever come with him for some reason – perhaps the anonymity of it all, perhaps because I never entirely relax.

This time is different. He employs fingers, tongue and lips in transporting me to a place I have never been. It feels like an orgasm, but is a muted whole body explosion with instant relief and utter delight. His hands are still working on me, my body relaxes and he stops. “Did you come?” he asks.

“It felt like it, I’m not sure”.

He comes back up to kiss me, kisses my breasts, bites them and still fingers me. I want more. I’m very very wet now.

He takes out a condom and fiddles to put it on. He pushes my legs together and enters me, I cry out and hold him around his neck. The angles are all wrong and I grab a pillow to heighten my ass. He pulls out and enters me again, slowly. This time it is perfect. He tells me he is close to coming already and pulls out again, neatly pushing himself down my body and kissing my pussy again with his cold lips. I go crazy, it is such a beautiful gesture. Dear reader, one does not see that in a porno.

And then I remember that this guy isn’t mine, and the victory is hollow. Yes, he is beautiful, yes his body is incredible. But soon he will be gone and I will wonder if he was ever there at all.

He enters me again and I grab the headboard with my arms to steady myself. This time he fucks me harder and looks at me and I look at him and I wonder if this is real and why he keeps coming back. He comes and his face is red as always, quickly he’s on his feet and cleaning up in the bathroom.

I bring him water and we make small talk about holidays.

“See you again soon” he says as he leaves.