The lovely @xxavgjoe got in touch with this fascinating post on our two favourite subjects. How could we resist? Here he is, unabridged.
Dominance and Submission , D/s, Dominate and Submit
I’m always interested to hear people’s independent views and opinions on this subject. So I thought I’d share my observations and experiences.
When I first accepted that I wanted to learn more about this, an experience brought on by necessity because I was about to jump into this style of relationship with both feet, I tried to read all I could on the Internet.
For the record, my first experience was to be on the submissive side. So understandably, I wanted to understand the full implications of what I was getting into.
In my own mind, I wanted to give pleasure with no thought for my own. It is generally how I always have been anyway, can’t explain it but for me there’s nothing better than giving my all to pleasure someone else. It literally drives me and without it, I’d frankly rather not bother. (Rule No.1, no matter what’s happening the other party must be enjoying it)
So when asked if I’d like to submit and be dominated, I figured what the hell.
I was very lucky I believe because my Mistress was very caring towards me, I was her little boy (6’3 and just under 16st..a difficult idea to perhaps grasp). She lived a good distance away and before we even met sexually we started discussing how it would work and what we each wanted.
For me, after reading up, I just wanted to relinquish control. Have my “everything” put in someone else’s hands (fuck, I’m getting horny just thinking about this again).
For her, she wanted a variety of experiences to share with someone and I’m pretty open minded.
We started with little simple tasks over mssging. She’d ask me to send her a picture, not always sexual. Then I was told to stop masturbating, not completely, but just whenever I wanted. I was allowed at specific times but had to send pictures or video to show I’d been a good boy.
When we finally met sexually, our time in role was amazing. Me blindfolded and tied, told to keep still, controlled, pegged and so much more. It was such an elated blur, everything I’d hoped for and more besides.
Later on in a different relationship, I got to exercise dominance. This partner enjoyed being controlled, it was quiet alien to me because of the extent to which she wanted to be. It was because she wanted to be treated so forcefully and roughly, verging on against her will. We practised restraining, choking, spanking, she didn’t seem to have a gag reflex so throat fucking was a definite given. But essentially she wanted her body to be used by me for my pleasure, never something I’d really tried because, well read above.
But soon I realised that she got such incredible pleasure from this, something just clicked and I was enjoying it immensely.
That was some of the craziest, awesome sex I’d ever had or probably will ever again. Sadly, things got a little too carried away emotionally and my being married proved to much for her. She kindly talked to me about how she was feeling and asked that we break off the physical relationship. We still keep in touch from time to time and she will always be very important to me. I miss her more than I care to admit and had our situations been different, I think we’d have been a great match.
So having experienced both sides of the fence, I’d happily hope down on to either side again. All I need is for the partner involved to enjoy the experience as much as possible and I’m a happy camper.
There’s a lot you can read about, but opinions and relationships vary. I guess my only advice would be:-
“Don’t be put off by any of the ideas or stories. It’s literally up to the parties involved how and what they make of it. There’s no real hard and fast rules..unless you want them.”