Oh this is a mistake. In my sexnotes, it even says “never again”

But he’s popped up as a suggested friend in my Instagram, and i send a follow request – what do I have to lose? Well, I bottle out after a few days and retract it. Then comes a DM….and we banter for a few days. It livens up my week at work, I’m literally throbbing. Like aching. He remembers we met once, I defintely remember twice. But the stories aren’t on the blog? I remember falling for him and having to BURN his number. I remember him saying I was an ice queen – and not being able to say back “yeah I’m in love with you that’s why”.

And then I check back on the Substack.

The first meet is in two parts, the second isn’t documented.

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The DMs continue all week. I try and play it cool, I tell a friend, I wank furiously. And then comes the crescendo. I ask for his whatsapp, we exchange some disappearing photos. And by Friday night I’m rushing home for some mutual virtual wanking. I have a window of about half an hour and am so turned on I get started almost as soon as I’m through the door. He’s surprised. And then he surprises me: a dickpic. Things escalate, he’s sending me porn links.

And then…he asks to Facetime.

This is a hard no. Just no. So we continue via many many voicenotes which he has initiated, him mainly calling me a dirty fucking slut. His voice isn’t what I remember. I don’t remember much really – I know now I was really putting him on a pedestal. But I really, really want to get laid.

I don’t think I can come, I’m too pent up, too worried about getting changed and not having enough time to go out again. But he growls at me and somehow I record my orgasm for him.

And then nothing. It’s fine because I need to get to my event. But you know me, I always want more.