@seasideslut asked us a while back to write on submission. After a lot of back and forth, like every great collaboration, you can read our post here on her site:

Here is her back. Or forth.

How I behave sexually with my partner depends on how they are with me – I tend to mold my behaviour to suit theirs. Many guys expect to lead, and I’m happy to let them. Sometimes the dynamic is completely equal. And sometimes, the guy wants me to be completely in charge.

I’ve yet to fuck a girl who was assertive with me, to my regret. I’d love to be tied up and used by a fierce vixen… but that’s a fantasy for another time. Today I’m talking about when I get to be the boss.

I’ve always had penis envy. I would kill to be a bloke for a week. I’d just scamper about happily, sticking my cock in people (with their permission of course). And I can completely understand how the desire to penetrate someone right to the balls would leave you feeling unhinged with lust, beyond the capacity for rational thought. The topic of my wanks has more than once revolved around imagining scenarios along these lines. So naturally, when I’m wearing a strap on, and someone (it’s usually a guy) is lying meekly in front of me, completely at my mercy, I get very turned on.

I’m passionate and ferocious by nature, and no less so when I’m playing domme. Lubing up my strap on and pressing it slowly into the hot little hole of my slave will make me snarl audibly and dig my fingernails into their hips. I’ll let fly a torrent of verbal abuse to accompany the fucking I’m giving them. I’ll instruct them to wank for me while I straddle their face, or make them suck my toes as I dildo my pussy. I once (carefully) fucked a guy in the arse with the high heel of my boot while stroking his balls with a leather crop. Essentially my slave knows that I’m in charge, and if they want to please their mistress, they’ll do exactly what they’re told. There’s a heady sadistic pleasure to be had from it, and it really unleashes the wildcat in me.

Having said that, the only thing that makes any of that fun for me is knowing how much it’s turning on the other person, and I have that attitude with whatever I do sexually. I have no interest in doing anything that might make them feel unhappy or disgusted. I think that is key to a healthy and fruitful sub/dom exchange – an interest in your partner’s filthy desires, and a respect for their limits, even if you’re pretending to be a bastard. Bossing somebody around and behaving like a selfish dick isn’t being a dom, it’s being a wanker.

Fancy enriching your mind with some classic BDSM literature? Why not give 50 Shades a miss and check out Story of O by Pauline Réage…