I was training to become a manager at a very unfashionable chain restaurant. This brought with it all kinds of ridiculous responsibilities, including locking up, being a key holder, putting takings into the safe and setting the alarm when I left.


The building was old and clunky and at least once a month the alarm wouldn’t set properly. I’d have to call the company, give them the automated message, get a guy to talk it through, and then I’d be able to leave.

It happened so regularly I kept getting the same guy on the helpdesk. And as mine was a lonely job late in the evening – as was his, we would get to chatting about other things.
Normal stuff, nothing crazy. 
Eventually he asked me out. 
This was a risk. He was just some random alarm dude. 
But you don’t get anywhere unless you take a risk, right?

We went for drinks in a part of town I don’t know. We got drunk. I didn’t really fancy him, he was cute but not really my type. 
He invites me back to his. Except its his brothers. We get into bed, and sure enough there’s a picture of his brother and his partner on the shelf above the bed. It’s all a bit odd. 
We start kissing and cuddling and I’m feeling awkward and he’s obviously feeling awkward. I mean – who does it in their brothers bed?

We get to the key moment, the bit when he’s got to deliver. 
“Oh god I’m sorry” he says
He’s kind of fiddling about down there and I’m ready and waiting and hoping. 
“I just can’t do it” 
I lift up the covers and he’s not packing an erection. He’s desperately trying to revive it by grabbing it and pumping it.
I say “Don’t worry about it” and try to go down on him.
He doesn’t want that.
We try some other stuff but it’s all wrong. It was wrong as soon as I saw his brothers photo. Especially as he was much better looking.
I made my excuses and left.

The next time the alarm wouldn’t set it was a different guy on the helpdesk.

Perhaps it was best.