I’m late of course, but I’m going to be even later now. He’d said the bar was next to the hotel which I’m at, but hadn’t given me the address. And there is definitely no bar here.

I’m done after another awful debilitating day at work. I’d worn heels all day especially for the “date” because who carries two pairs around. Everything hurts. I don’t know this part of town, it’s dark and I’m grumpy. He apologises profusely and offers to send a cab but finally I make it and flounce inside.

It’s the pecs I notice first: he’s in a tight black T-shirt. Then the beard, then the sparkling eyes. This place is full of noise, a very very young crowd chattering and I can’t even sit down. Everything is a high stool – shiny silver metal and my dress and coat are silky so I can’t sit down without sliding off again. I can’t read the menu as it’s so small and feel stupid. He can’t get any of the servers attention to order. Luckily a girl finally acknowledges us and moves us to a table outside.

He doesn’t stop talking and I’d already obsessed over his very sexy accent. He’s Hungarian but with excellent English. He also looks exactly like his photos. We order a few small plates and he asks if I’d like to share a steak frites. Okay.

Reader I’ve been chatting to so many guys I almost can’t remember what his deal is: is this just a test date? Or a date and fuck. Because I am HUNGRY for sex.

The croquettes arrive looking like pert little breasts with some kind of sauce piped on top like a nipple – and he just pops one whole into his mouth. I daintily use a knife and fork and the filling oozes out.

We talk about sex, dates, partners, scenarios, past conquests and it’s easy and fun.

The steak next, and it’s a bavette with a chimichurri sauce and mayo and oh my goodness he just eats a strip with his fingers. This would usually freak me out but him doing it, him. It’s a turn on. Everything throbs.

I cleverly check that we are definitely going back to the hotel room together and get a ding ding yes we are. He pays without question and I’m wildly delighted. It’s a low bar lately y’know.

We walk back to the hotel, I tell him to trust me with the direction and he chats and we laugh on the way.

We check in and I pretend to look nonchalant and legit, we don’t get ID’d or any questions. In the lift he snakes an arm around my waist and goes in for a snog. Hurray! The room is small with one double bed and a single cuck bed, decent bathroom and a few mirrors.

We pace around the double, stalking the place and each other like detectives. I hang my coat over the wardrobe door as there are only those weird coat hangers with clips so you can’t steal them.

Oh lord I forgot to mention his fetish. He’s a smell guy, he wants to smell all of me as it’s a huge turn on for him. It’s a little odd as I’ve not had this spelt out so explicitly so I’m intrigued as to how it will go.

But the more I think about it the more it checks out. I’m used to smelling and touching myself, just not as au fait with guys getting so turned on from it.

So I take off my shoes and he has a go. And then the knickers and armpits. “Oh this is good” is the approval that comes back from every adventure he has with my intimate nooks and crannies. It’s liberating and I’m surprised at how turned on by his arousal I become. I work really hard on not fucking him immediately despite wanting to just feel him inside me. I suck him a little, climb on his face and straddle him, he grabs my boobs and sniffs and licks and kisses. It’s true unabridged worship.

His dick is one of those that stands to attention the whole time, almost with a point. I wank him a bit and he gives instructions as I feel his precum on my hands.

And then he plunges inside me, missionary but hot. It feels so good, and he goes for quite a while: if I move he tells me to stop. It’s really really sexy. He is doing all of the work. His face scrunches in ecstasy and he keeps saying “you’re really tight” I tell him to say it again and again. Eventually we come together which is incredibly rare for me. He makes no noise at all. We have some pillow talk and he assures me he’ll be ready to go very soon.

I’m not worried about that because ladies and gentlemen the thread count of the bed is a delight. I actually try and look for the details. He grabs for my hand.

We go again but he also intersperses this with sessions of putting my toes and feet right in his mouth. the scenario is such a turn on I cannot stop myself from masturbating to orgasm while he is doing it. He cheers me on and says “that was so hot to watch”. That image stays with me all week and beyond.

He fucks me again and we both sweat a lot. I swipe my hands under his armpits and smear his sweat over myself. He’s really sweaty but it doesn’t smell. I pick up my knickers and put them on my face, we kiss and lick each other through them, sniffing and kissing and licking. it’s very very sexy.

He actually comes in my mouth the second time. I love the way he holds my chin tenderly grasping it nearer to him.

He tells me to wake him in the morning for sex. As it is I dress for the walk of shame and he is too tired.

I leave my dirty knickers in his rucksack. He can use those until next time.