It’s about a month since I last heard from him. I know this because I cancelled on him because I had such bad period cramps.

It’s a weird set of messages:

HFM: “Hey”

B&W: “hey who is this “

HFM: “sorry wrong number “

B&W “yeah but who is this “ is it X”

HFM: it’s HFM

B&W : this is B&W

HFM: oh deleted your number and thought you were someone else

B&W : who?

HFM: oh me and my ex used to swing with this 60 yo guy who had a massive dick, thought it was him

He then sends me a pic of the guy, as if that makes it okay.

The next question is even weirder: “when you did the threesome did the guys play with each other? ”.

Let’s step back for a moment. This is a guy I’ve never met, sending me a pic of someone else naked, and he says he’s deleted my number but is messaging me on it.

We then have a text exchange in which he gaslights me and says let’s start again.

It’s the perfect demonstration of why I’m out.

The VJ

And then the VJ pops up. Again, a guy I’ve never met but messages every time he’s in London in a hotel.

I’ve definitely tried to meet him more than once. Every time he’s ghosted. So getting a missed WhatsApp call from him and a message at 3am is weird.

I then open an app I’d deleted a few days before and a ridiculous explanation unrolls from him. Past me would have leapt up and possibly asked where the hotel was and what times he’s around. But I can tell this isn’t ever going to happen.