It’s been two months since I got dumped in the street. I can’t write about it just yet as there as there was no sex. I kind of dealt with it and kind of didn’t as there was a whole lot of unfinished business and a promise of friendship. He still has my stuff.

In an immediate knee jerk response I signed up to the apps again and got going.

I say got going : there were matches and chats but not much in the way of action. Annoying as these could all have been blog posts but let’s summarise:

The Hedge Fund Manager

We met on Tinder and exchanged numbers fairly quickly. He was starting a new job in town and we arranged to meet on his first day: Friday. He used to be a boxer, was living in a hotel and was separated. He wanted a fuck, I wasn’t sure for many reasons.

The day came and I hadn’t heard anything, nada, zip. And I suppose I lost the mojo. We hadn’t settled on a place to meet, he’d only told me he might be free by 4.30pm. About an hour before I felt really unwell, cramps that wouldn’t budge. I was good and told him but he hadn’t finished work anyway.

The chef

This joker was from Bumble: his profile said he wanted an emotionally available woman. He actually just wanted a fuck after work. I’d initially rejected him because he could only meet after 11pm. I tried three times to meet him, the last time he bailed when I was on the way there.

The Ex

I only dated him a few times two years ago and stopped when he ghosted me every time we were meant to be going out.

He messaged me on Bumble and said he wanted to reconnect. His idea was to try again, date me. I asked why it had gone so wrong last time : he blamed work. Three or four weeks after exchanging numbers, I’m still waiting for him to ask me on an actual date.

The media guy

This guy ghosted last year after a ridiculous evening of sex I didn’t even plan to have. He still had my number in his phone ! Said he started dating someone else straight after. Relived our experiences, told me I was an unreal fellater. Asked jf I’d be up for going to a sex club. Not really so comfortable going with someone I don’t know that well AND who ghosted so I’d said we’d have to meet up before that. I’m still waiting for his free moment.