I haven’t seen him in around six weeks which for me may as well be six years. It’s a date of sorts because I am nervous and have been agonising over it all day. I’m even worrying what to wear which is ridiculous given he will probably rock up looking like he’s just fixed a car. Which he probably has.

I don’t really want to sleep with anyone else anymore, that’s how bad it’s got. We’ve talked about a lot of kinks but we’ve done very little together so far. Maybe he’s bread-crumbing me, maybe it’s legit. Maybe I will never know.

He’s driving over but we’re meeting at a venue near to mine, for the second time ever we are going to see some comedy. I get there first, grab some drinks and find a good seat. And then he is there, larger than life.

He compliments me on everything, and babbles on in his own inimitable way. I’d love to conduct a scientific study into why the fuck I fell for this guy and what it says about me, but for now I tell myself to stop overthinking. I’m with him in public and it feels delicious. I’m proud to be seen with a man, no, I’m proud to be seen with him. His beaming face, his gregarious nature. He makes me happy and I want to be with him. Is that love? Does it matter what it is?

We watch the two acts and we both laugh a lot. Towards the end our legs touch and I think he pulls away but then doesn’t. I’m just delighted to be anywhere near him. At one point he squeezes my cheeks and kisses me on the mouth. Mmm.

The evening ends and we both head for the exit, but he wants to take a little walk to look at the river. On the way he tells me he’s just going to drop me back and no funny business. The bottom drops out of my world and I can’t hide it. I’m keen and impatient to get back to mine and I wasn’t expecting this letdown.

He realises how disappointed I am. I direct him back to my house. It’s the first time in two years he’s been over, and sort of cements something.

I give him a little tour and for the second time he offers to help with some minor odd jobs. I laugh and tell him he doesn’t need to. Up in my bedroom he grabs my breasts from behind and then there we are.

He tells me to lie face down on the bed and watches as I swing my legs with the heels still on. I undo the crotch of my body, he pulls my knickers down and quick as a flash his tongue is between my legs.

This is a far cry from what he’s just told me and I’m struggling to catch up. His fingers caress my clit and I pull off my bra. Somehow he’s already naked and I admire his chest and arms. He asks me what I want and all I can manage to say is “fingers” so he thrusts one inside me. I moan and rise up to get purchase, propping myself up with a pillow under my ass. He asks if I want his cock and I giggle.

He knows I always do, even though penetration isn’t his thing. But to feel his cock inside me is all I need. He pulls out very quickly, going down on me again and then repeating.

I know already I’m not going to come. His about face has confused me but I’m enjoying his attention on me and I feel sexy. But I’ve been really greedy and wanked alone earlier with my vibe. I don’t tell him that.

Next he is furiously wanking – reader he won’t even let me touch his beautiful solid dick because he is in the zone. He kneels over me and again I lust over his chest, arms and thighs towering over me.

He can’t come either. He gets me to play with myself – something I don’t really enjoy but want to turn him on. I’m still wearing the heels. I grab my breast with my other hand and he catches on, doing the same when I let go.

It’s a hot night and we both stop to catch our breath. We are both sweating and I can smell his smell on me. He asks if he can have a shower. But soon realises my handheld one isn’t going to work for him.

He says he has to get home. Clothes go on. I see him out of the door. And again, the little time I have with him is not enough.

The Michelin star chef

I can’t read him at all when I meet him: he’s quiet, polite and possibly not an axe murderer. He offers me a drink as soon as I get there and we do the chit chat you do when you don’t know where the evening might end.

After one drink I’m thinking that he’s just not that into me, I ask if he wants another one. And then he says “shall we go and play” which is a clear signal that oh my god it’s on.

He has previously sent me a photo of his bag of tricks which to me was like catnip. My only proper master lives a very long way away and I wanted someone real to experiment with, not a faux Dom.

We take a short train ride then walk to his place. I’m really glad I changed into a mesh body which shows off my boobs but not too brazenly.

His place is probably the most stylish I’ve ever seen a man inhabit. Bespoke wooden floors, cabinets and interior. But this ain’t Homes and Gardens.

I’m waiting for him to make a move, but he wants to make me a drink. I sit on a leather swivel chair in the lounge and spin around. I’m hoping he might pin me to it.

Instead he sits opposite me on the sofa, one leg up. Dammit.

I get up and sit beside him feeling stupid. Is he going to make a move? I think I ask for the loo and then when I come out he’s somewhere in the bedroom so I go through to take a look. It’s huge and stylish and all very bare – no art on the walls anywhere.

Although who cares. I’m here to be fucked. He tells me to get undressed so I do but leave my underwear on. He lays me down on the bed and places two leather shackles around my wrists, clipping them together. Oh my.

He teases me a little, running his hand over my body and nudging my pussy a little with his cock. Which seems oddly flaccid. And then my pants are peeled off and his mouth is on my pussy. Oh my, he knows his way around. I’m very close to coming. And then : turn over. He asks if I want to be spanked and I giggle. Flogger or paddle – I choose flogger.

I’m on all fours with him behind me. He teases first, running it down from the nape of my neck down to my bum. And then it comes. He’s soft at first but increases the pressure gradually and the area he’s covering. My rear smarts.

After a few strikes, he arranges my knickers and runs his entire hand over them – I guess to check how wet I am. I’m certainly ready to go.

He unhooks my wrists next and pushes my head down to his cock, telling me “no hands”. Wow. I hadn’t even looked at it and now I’m right up close. It’s totally shaven and hard as a rock, a beautiful specimen. It fills my mouth. I really want it inside me, and he knows it.

Soon I’m riding him, he fills my pussy and I ride him as if my life depends on it. I really want to come. I get close and then he flips me over. Torture. He’s on top and it’s just as good, a perfect fuck in fact.

We switch again and I ride him to orgasm. It’s a delicious one, building up and then dying beautifully inside. He pumps his cock into my mouth and soon his milky white cum is done my throat, over my lips and dripping over his stomach. I try and clear up as best I can.

I lie there for a bit and realise I need to go. It’s been the most amazing fuck I’ve had in a while but I have no idea of telling if he wants to continue or go to sleep.

I hop up and get my knickers on, quickly dress and find my trainers. He walks me to the tube and kisses me goodbye.

I take the ride home feeling incredible smug and satisfied.


It’s rained all day. He’s grumpy. I’m grumpy. It’s my first day in a new job. I’m late arriving at his because my boss wanted to take me to the pub.

We get back to his after buying some small snacks. Always his! I let on I hadn’t eaten so he insisted I get something. He tells me to relax and eat while he gets on with some odd jobs and calls. When he sits down I leap onto him and kiss him which startles him, he thinks I’m going to bite him.

I realise he’s either nervous or busy to calm down. He chats about what he’s been up to, and bless him, asks how my day was.

Later he runs me a bath and I sink into the depths of it while he goes out on an errand next door. I do actually relax. I wonder if he’s going to come and join me but don’t want to hope for too much. I’m not even turned on and I’m pretty sure he isn’t either, he’s barely touched me.

I don’t know whether to get dressed again or get into bed. I decide to put my underwear on and wear my shirt dress as a robe. I go back down to see what he’s up to. It’s gone midnight and I am at work again tomorrow.

Finally we climb into bed together. He asks if he can spoon me and play with my boobs so I agree and take off my bra top. The warmth of him against my back is so delicious : coupled with his fingers caressing my nipples I’m actually in heaven. Being wanted, being held. These are simple things which are not regularly available to someone like me; someone who shuns relationships but falls in love with someone she meets on a swingers site.

I nuzzle into his chest and his arm enveloping me is everything I need. He asks me about my new job and I choke up. Tears roll down my face as I explain the pressure I’m feeling, the pressure of being alone and having to survive. I tell him about a project I’m working on and he tells me to come downstairs and take a look at something.

His house is always a tip, but there’s one room I’ve never seen. He pulls the door open and I gasp. There are about one hundred glass globe jars with acorn trees growing out of them: every surface is covered. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in a while.

We both shiver as we go back upstairs- we return to him spooning me again. His hands go down my pants and he plays with my clit for what feels like forever. He tells me he can’t get an erection but by this point I don’t care. A sleepover is enough, the warmth of his body is enough, his attention is enough – for now.

In the morning I shower and try not to wake him. He’s promised me a lift to the station but he’s dead to the world. I kiss him and say goodbye, leaving feeling disappointed again.

The One?

I haven’t seen him in over a year. I had to wean myself off him, delete his number – you know the drill – dear reader you were there.

But when I do a random search of his old username and find him on the site I get the feels. Big time.

Before you can say anything he’s calling me at past midnight and I’m answering like the old days. We speak for about fifteen minutes which is a record. We agree to try and meet up.

I don’t get too excited : disappointment is a normality these days. Even with casual dalliances the desire to meet can quickly evaporate, and nothing ever happen. WhatsApp penpals.

We meet for a coffee in a delightful place near his place in almost a duplicate of the first time we met. I get all the feels when I see him come in. He’s grinning at me but I don’t stand up when he gets to the table and I certainly don’t make any moves. He’s full of compliments for me. I try not to fall for him all over again.


We drive around his ends and I accompany him on a few chores. He talks ten to the dozen as always, I try to keep up and absorb everything. He’s doing up a house, installing decking, painting a garden, laying turf. I guess anything to keep him busy and earning money. His hand touches my knee as he tells me about his mum in hospital. He keeps telling me he wants my opinion on a paint colour for his bedroom – it’s cheesy but I follow him upstairs hoping it might all happen again.

He’s already asked while we are downstairs if we are going to have sex – I try and keep it low key and say “let’s see how it goes.”

As I write that now I realise how cool I was. But the truth is I just didn’t feel confident or sure if I wanted to.

In the bedroom he strips off and his cock literally flops out of his jeans – he’s wearing no pants. I absolutely emoji heart eyes his cock because my god it’s huge.

I’m still fully clothed and start to coyly take my clothes off. I haven’t been fucked in two months so my confidence is low. I ask him if we can get under the covers as I have a thing about it. He starts by cupping my breast and licking it in a measured way, no sudden movements or nipping. But as soon as his fingers start to stroke my pussy over my knickers the lights are on and everyone is home. He talks to me the whole time asking what I want, what I need.

My body knows what it wants and he is giving it to me. But my mouth won’t connect to my brain. There is something about the angle of his fingers inside me which is better than anything I’ve ever felt. I’m sort of straddled on top of him, and he grabs my thighs.

He’s asking me if I want him to go down on me and I nod. We switch so I’m on my back and he’s between my legs. It’s delicious but his fingers are better – almost as if he’s read my mind he moves to stimulate my clit.

It’s his cock I crave but I know from our few previous sessions he’s not going to come from penetration. He tells me to use his cock but he won’t come inside me. This turns me on so much I wrap my lips around his head and tease him playfully.

He enters me and I moan at how good it feels. He’s still playing with my clit and I have to ask him to stop, it’s too much.

I straddle him and start to ride him, I can feel my body start to rise into its crescendo. It’s delicious. I feel him get harder and he starts to whisper what he’d like to do to me which sends me over. My orgasm is like an earth shattering explosion inside me, a huge relief. I want to laugh and cry at the same time – this ridiculous man with the messy mind and house and something wonderful which I can’t quite put my finger on or give up.

He flips on top of me and I play with his cock just as he likes it. I remember he likes having his back scratched and start to do it but he says “just hold me” which I almost weep at : the intimacy kills me. Doesn’t everyone just want to be held?

And then he grabs me and we are up into the bathroom, the shower, my hand his cock and it’s all over. His doorbell rings and he leaps away to answer. It’s never simple. I shower and go back to his room, feeling out of place now. I hunt for my socks and knickers, and then see something at the end of the bed where the duvet is.

A pair of black lace knickers.

They aren’t mine. I freeze, my arms go numb and I lose the plot.

There is no explanation in my mind for this – he probably fucked someone else right before me. The humiliation- the couple of hours we’ve spent together ruined.

I’m now dressed and boots back on, I ask if I can come down. My face feels weird and must look weird as he asks if I’m okay.

“No I’m not okay” I spit out.

“What on earth is wrong?” He asks.

“Next time you fuck someone else just take her knickers out of the bed”.

I make for the sofa where my makeup Bag is and start furiously re-applying powder and lipstick. I don’t even want to hear an explanation.

He gives me several of course – they are clean, he doesn’t usually use that bed, he hadn’t been with anyone. Who knows, do I believe him? He’s giving me a lift to the station, I have to get out of there.

The Electrician

He’s not my usual type but he’s made me laugh on messages and he’s available during the day which is what I need right now.

We meet in the designated coffee shop which he struggles to find. Very quickly we are back at mine and he pushes me against the wall to kiss me once I close the door.

Oddly I’m not as turned on as usual- maybe I’m craving a cock just for the sake of it. I do wonder sometimes. When you’re not in a regular relationship you can clutch at straws.

He’s very ginger and slaps my ass as I lead him upstairs. He undresses me and caresses my breasts expertly. Soon he’s nuzzling and kissing my nipples. It’s the attention I crave. Soon he’s down between my legs and lapping away, working my clit with passion and speed. I like his eagerness and go to return the favour but he stops me.

“I’m gonna come really soon” he says and he resumes licking my pussy.

This is the terrible thing about fucking – if a guy gets too turned on he’s gonna blow very quickly. I’ve not had a guy like this for a while, truth be told.

I tell him I want him to fuck me.

I help him put on the condom. He plunged into me, he’s a good size and I tell him to fuck me harder.

Game over. He comes pretty loudly straightaway.

He leaves soon afterwards and I don’t even wank myself to orgasm.

The Copier Repairman

It’s less than 24 hours since the last fuck but I still need some more good hard dick. This guy is at least in the area and I’m working from home. No-one will notice I’m not online for half an hour right?

Fuck, he’s much better looking in the flesh: neatly trimmed beard, freckles and piercing blue eyes. And a shirt and tie. I love a shirt and tie even if it’s a work uniform.

I’m gushing over him, I can tell. I’m away for the weekend and he’s already offered me a lift there.

We leave and walk the short journey back to mine.

As we go upstairs he grabs my ass and I feel my knickers go wet.

He’s wearing flat fronted trousers, I undo his shirt buttons and his chest is revealed, a beautiful gorilla haired chest. I want to put my face in it. Meanwhile he is undoing my shirt and pushing me back onto the bed.

I literally blink and he is now naked standing over me pushing his cock into my mouth. Maybe he is saying things but I am being used as a fuck toy at this point so my brain is spliced. I feel tears running down my cheeks as he pushes me into positions and throat fucks me, roughly. Is this too much? I can feel his fingers in my pussy and hear how wet it is. So maybe it’s what I like, what I need. He calls me a lot of things – filthy little slut is one of them. I giggle.

He doesn’t want to go down on me, he wants to fuck me. I give him a condom and he flips it on then teases me. I climb on top and he tells me to go for it. As soon as he slides in we can both tell it’s a good fit. His eyes widen and he tells me he’s coming back for more in the future. He tries to pump me from underneath and I tell him to slow down. I ride him but know I’m not gonna come so easily. Until he licks his fingers and plays with my clit. Oh my. He’s a royal fuckboy, goes straight to the top of my list.

He kneads and bites my tits and I ride him harder, properly grinding him and come within a few minutes. He’s slower and follows me a while later.

He agrees to call by later and give me a lift to the coast.

It’s about 10 mins before I need to leave before catching the train. He tells me he can’t make it back in time to give me a lift. Who cares anyway, would have been an awkward ride down.

A few hours later I realise he’s blocked me on the site. What a dick.

A day later I wonder why my throat hurts so much. Filthy little slut.

The guy in advertising

Both of us have been drinking and we end up meeting later than I’d have liked. But my run of being sensible has ended in a flaming glory of hormones and lust.

Earlier in the day we’d wound each other up so much that I ended up wanking on a business webinar (audio only but I covered up my camera just in case) but only edged myself to frustration not orgasm.

No, I don’t fancy him on sight but I want to be fucked.

We get back to mine and are all over each other. He’s got soft wet lips and we kiss well together. He smells great too. We move upstairs. And kiss a lot more.

So when I run my hand over his trousers and find very little there I’m a little disappointed. I’m no size queen but I do like a girth. He’s promised me a massage and I’m stressed like a monkey who can’t get hold of bananas so I’m game with bells on.

He’s brought some jojoba oil with him which is new one on me so I lie on my front as he tells me, still with knickers on.

He starts by dripping oil over my back, and massaging it in. He’s still got trousers on at this point. I can’t stop groaning as even I can feel how smooth and sexy my body is with a light coating and his hands all over me. Sometimes his hands stray underneath and massage my boobs, and sometimes the inner thigh. I push back and have my bum in the air craving him to touch me there. He takes the oil and drips it in the small of my back. And then takes off my knickers. Massages my butt cheeks and cheekily smoothed his hands underneath. It’s driving me wild.

Once all the oil is rubbed in he tells me to turn over. Now his cock is exposed I can see it’s small: and he doesn’t want me to touch it, pushing my hands away. And then he goes down on me.

Oh my goodness I am in the hands of a pro here. He seems to know exactly what I want and how I tick. I come immediately, and then around 10 minutes later due to his mouth and fingers working in tandem. It’s a welcome return of my orgasm skills. I ask if I can return the favour and guide his cock into my mouth. Oddly he has no reaction – it doesn’t grow harder, he doesn’t groan, in fact it’s like he doesn’t actually want it.

I ask him to fuck me, he tells me he’d rather make me come again. Which I guess isn’t as selfish as the average guy. We end up in an awkward 69 position but I have to keep pulling him off my pussy as his stubble is somehow causing too much friction and my clit is now on fire.

He kneels beside me and pumps into my mouth, during which, worryingly I can simultaneously smell something that smells like his feet and his ass. His balls hang down and bang against my cheek. But he’s done.

Off he goes into the night. I’m exhausted, and still somehow missing something.

The Fireman

I know right? I could just end the blog here and mic drop. Every woman’s fantasy.

We meet for a coffee around the corner during which I learn three things:

1. He’s a lot fucking hotter than his pictures

2. He is a gentleman and buys the drinks

3. He is wearing drawstring jogging bottoms and they are undone

At numbers 1 and 3 I am a hot mess.

We chat for maybe 10 minutes and I ask if he wants to come back. He almost stands up before I’ve finished the sentence.

Back at mine he stands in front of me and puts his phone and keys on my dresser. I make a joke about his trousers and he replies “ready for action”.

We kiss and I can tell already this is going to be insanely good. He’s slow and sensual, not fast and furious. There’s no prodding and poking of my body, it’s respectful and soft. Just a hand around my waist and bum. I undo my top and he handles my breast with care, pulling them out and kicking the nipples : I can’t stop shivering from his touch. We get onto the bed and he pulls off my trousers, peeling them like a banana. And then there are kisses all over my thighs. A trail of kisses from my neck down to my knickers. It’s a long long time since anyone has done anything like that.

His body is like marble or alabaster. Defined chest, thin waist and athletic legs. His cock stands proudly and I hold it, judging its girth. I don’t get long: he’s down between my legs in no time. And what a master he is. His face is buried into my pussy, lapping and nudging and teasing. I steer his head into the places I want him to go, it feels oddly sensual holding a shaved head for once . I come almost immediately. He’s delighted and climbs up my body again, kissing as he goes.

I love the taste of my pussy on someone else’s lips. It’s surely one of the hottest things about fucking right?

I pass him a condom and we manoeuvre into a missionary. It’s not quite right but everything about his cock filling me and his weight on top of me is enough. We switch a few times and he tells me he’s going to come. He’s pushing on top of me, kissing my neck and grunting a lot. He’d told me previously he hadn’t fucked for a while.

He pulls out and says “there’s a lot”. I look at the condom and he’s right. It’s more than a spoonful.

He asks for a shower and we both use the bathroom in an oddly intimate exchange.

Back in my room he dresses and then lies back on my bed joking he could fall asleep.

I half wish he would but I have to pack for a weekend away.

Later that evening he texts me : ” you’re so beautiful please can we do that again soon – I had a lot of fun 😊”

Reader. I hit the jackpot.

The Cyber Security specialist

Or: How I was seduced by a member of a private club I hadn’t been to before.

We meet downstairs: he has to collect me at reception as non members aren’t allowed on the roof unescorted. He’s not bad looking, but I’m not overwhelmed with lust. I’ve also had a terrible day and definitely not on top form.

We get to the bar and he tells me he’s going to introduce me to the gang. Immediately I lose the plot – what is this place? I assume they are all swingers and “in the know” and they have to inspect me like some sort of cabal. I mean, I have a vivid imagination. I get intrigued to a phalanx of women by the pool (luckily not in swimwear it’s February) one who bears a tattoo of the club.

Am I in a movie? This place just doesn’t seem real. I feel like a dumpy imposter being allowed to look but don’t touch. He told me to bring a bikini but there is no way I’m getting in that pool.

We find a quiet place to sit and chat awkwardly. He does nothing to put me at ease and I really can’t tell the vibe here. We are maybe halfway through the glass of wine when he excuses himself for the loo.

He’s gone so long I am seriously considering leaving. I don’t look at a watch but it’s definitely more than 10 minutes. As he left a trio of power lesbians come and start smoking by our table. They actually look more fun. A woman comes over and starts chatting to me about the view and the sunset. It’s only I realise she’s one of the hostesses and I guess briefed to make me feel comfortable whilst I’m alone.

He returns and makes some apology for being so long. We’ve not even talked about sex or if we are going to have it. It’s almost like a business meeting. And then he shows me some pictures of his sex toys.

He’s a Dom – like most men claim to be these days, but uses interesting language. He says when he’s seeing someone he doesn’t play around. I’m unsure if this is an audition but I start to share some photos of me shibari- tied. The conversation hots up and he goes off for more drinks.

I’m now actually excited, he’s not my usual type but he seems legit. But this time he’s gone so long that the waiter brings the drinks. What the hell is going on?

He comes back and apologises: his son has fallen off his bike and he’s now got to go home. Wow. Talk about a brush off. We have full glasses of wine so I make to quaff it and he stops me.

We chat a bit further about what we are into but the vibe still doesn’t scream sex.

Eventually we go down to the lobby and I try not to look disappointed. And then…and then…he takes my fucking breath away by kissing me. Full tongue in my mouth stuff. Smooching on my neck, biting, pulling my hair. Holding my bum. What the hell?

He leaves by a different door to me and I get the train home.

Another one bites the dust I assume.

Next morning a message comes through “When can I see you again?”